This morning, Paisley and I went for a run. And I should preface this by disclaiming… I am not a runner. I’ve wanted to be a runner all my life, but I’d be lying if I said athleticism was ever a strength of mine. In fact, I think just the opposite is true — it seems as if I’ve always been a two left feet, tripping up the stairs, clumsy and uncoordinated type of gal. However, that doesn’t discourage me from day dreaming about one day being able to run half marathons (I’m not so ambitious to wish for a full); meanwhile, I can barely run a mile and a half without truly fearing I am dancing in the wake of death. And I’m being dramatic, I know, but there’s something about having heavy anxiety and running; I feel my chest get heavy, I focus so much on breathing that it almost feels impossible to do so, and my mind repeats “I can’t do this” over and over and over again. It always somewhat confuses me when others say running clears their minds, because if anything, my mind feels loudest during those times.
Hello, hello, friends! Today, I’m starting something new. And I’m breaking the rules. And I’m just going to write… whatever I want. Ever since I began blogging, I never intended for it to be a journal or diary of any sort. However, as this blog has evolved, I’ve realized that I’ve left out large pieces of my day-to-day life, as those aspects have faded behind reviews and advice absent of my own voice about my own life. I comply to the weighty restrictions of SEO regulations, and even now, I cringe when I think of my copy rendering “unreadable” by the Yoast plugin, but I digress. I’ve written so mechanically to abide by the algorithmic formula of blogging optimization, and in the meantime, I feel like I’ve lost the elements of my writing that makes this my writing; long, wordy, flowery sentences, hastily placed semicolons, unnecessary big words are all elements of my real, free-handed writing. And so, I bring to you this series. A series of the real, the raw, the unedited, the unoptimized free-handed writing that has escaped this blog. My writing. I hope you enjoy.