Hello, hello, friends! It has been A MINUTE, to say the least. It has been forever since I’ve sat down to write and, subsequently, wander around my WordPress dashboard for hours trying to figure out how to get a certain plugin from doing XYZ. To be honest, the past few months have undoubtedly comprised the hardest season of my life thus far. Blogging felt like the very last thing I wanted to do – in all honesty, with all of the things happening in the world and my personal life, it felt extremely tone deaf to continue talking about topics like beauty, fashion, and social media as if they mattered to me (at all) like they did before 2020.
The past few months have (loudly) required me to take a step back and analyze my life. Every aspect of my life. What I want, where I am, where I’m going, where I’ve been… all of it. And to be completely honest, throughout all of this very serious contemplation and reflection, the amount of self-awareness I’ve experienced has made it extremely hard for me to find the will to write or be present on social media at all, actually. I’ve battled so much with the vanity of all of this, the level of narcissism required, and the… unimportance? of the topics I once shared.
It took me a while to sit and relish in my feelings and to begin pulling myself out of this suffocating funk. I realized that I very much so was letting others’ opinions weigh so heavily on my heart and the things that I truly find joy in doing; I love creating, writing, photographing, designing, etc. These are the things that bring me joy! And I feel like in this world, at this moment, the most important thing we can do for ourselves is to create moments and experiences that bring us happiness and joy.
So, here I am: creating just to create, writing just to write, sharing just to share. I have never cared about the numbers; I have only ever cared about connecting with others and sharing my art. In law school, it has become increasingly apparent to me how desperately I need a creative outlet, and in the past, this has served that purpose for me. I took a step back from my blog in the past year to make room for school, thinking that it was the source of stress for me – but in all honesty, it was a break from the stress. Writing freely is cathartic for so many, including myself.
If you were here before, you may notice that many of the posts I spent two years creating are gone. Annnnnd, yeah. That was a pretty dumb decision on my behalf; they were the victims of my erratic, emotional, and impulsive purge. I’m sad they’re not here, but hey: I guess that I’m just forcing myself to start fresh in every single aspect of my life, including this blog.
Thanks for being here nonetheless. I look forward to starting anew with you.